I cant believe its already November. I made it through Halloween, although that wasnt too hard. I was a little sad that I didnt get to dress her up and show her off like other glowing new parents.

Thankfully we live in the back of our neighborhood and we dont get too many trick or treaters anyway so I didnt get any candy to give out. I would have hated to start crying passing out candy to happy little trick or treaters. Everyone keeps saying..."oh, well next year.." let me tell you, that does not help whatsoever.

Ah, now on to the next.... Thanksgiving.

Ryon is all for this holiday...any excuse to eat :) Well not me. I am just not in the mood to celebrate ANYTHING this year. Normally ill cook at home and bring food to my MIL's. I really like being home so I was really looking forward to having Bella and staying home for holidays. We were going to cook at our house and just lounge around and eat and watch football and be with our little girl. Ah, my perfect Thanksgiving. Well since shes not here Ryon said we'd go over to the in laws. Id much rather just stay home tho. Its coming quick so we better figure out what were going to do.

Her first birthday is almost here...I cant believe it! This year just flew by but in my head it felt like time was standing still. Like people were rushing past me. Strange feeling. All year I was thinking about what to do...what to make. Well I havent done ANYTHING. Im stumped and dont know what to do. Hopefully ill figure somthing out soon.

Christmas is just a few days after and I suggested to Ryon that we go away. We get a small bonus from work (usually) and since I dont plan on buying anyone gifts I figure we could use that to go somewhere for Christmas Eve/Christmas. Still not sure where and if well go but thats what Id like to do. Better start looking!

After spending last year at the hospital w/Bella and then having dinner at Waffle House(it was the only option, and terrible...) I never thought Id want to be away from home again. However, I never thought we'd be without her this year. Being at home would just be so depressing.

Anyway...really just dreading these next 2 months

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