I still look up

Theres something about the way the sun sines thru the clouds that remind me of her.

Just the other day it was raining so hard and was so dreary...the clouds were really low over the mountains on my way to work. When I got about half way to work I looked up and there was a small(and I mean small) eye shaped break in the clouds where I saw a bright blue sky. It made me smile and despite the bad weather it was a good day.

This picture was yesterday on our way home, Ryon pointed out how fast the clouds were moving and how the suns rays were shining over the mountains. Beautiful. Reminded us of our angel.

Its the little things.

Going back

The past few days I have been really emotional and this anxiety wont go away. (Anyone that has anxiety knows this feeling is misery!) I just brushed it off until today when I realized why. My sister in law is about to deliver baby #2...at the same hospital I gave birth to Bella at. I havent been back since I was wheeled out empty handed barely 24 hours after I gave birth. {This hospital is only minutes from my house}

I know she wouldnt be upset if I didnt go but part of me says I have to. I just keep having flash backs of them taking her from me....and then seeing her laying under the warmer in a bigger labor room with the Winchester NICU team breathing for her. And the look in their eyes...and in hers. I wish I wasnt upset during such a happy time for our family.

Ah decisions, decisions...

Praying for a healthy baby boy and momma!