Going back

The past few days I have been really emotional and this anxiety wont go away. (Anyone that has anxiety knows this feeling is misery!) I just brushed it off until today when I realized why. My sister in law is about to deliver baby #2...at the same hospital I gave birth to Bella at. I havent been back since I was wheeled out empty handed barely 24 hours after I gave birth. {This hospital is only minutes from my house}

I know she wouldnt be upset if I didnt go but part of me says I have to. I just keep having flash backs of them taking her from me....and then seeing her laying under the warmer in a bigger labor room with the Winchester NICU team breathing for her. And the look in their eyes...and in hers. I wish I wasnt upset during such a happy time for our family.

Ah decisions, decisions...

Praying for a healthy baby boy and momma!