December 22nd-the beginning of a long nightmare

I tried to get some sleep but I was in so much pain that it was very difficult. I slept a few minutes here and there and kept waking up to make Bella was still breathing. The nurse came in around 1 or 2am while we were holding her and we mentioned she sounded a little funny...she had a grunting/whine going on and we were concerned. The nurse said "oh shes probably hungry, just feed her!" We now realize this was a huge mistake..however we didnt know so we just did what we were told. She ate and went to sleep. At 5am the lab tech came and woke me up to take my blood. She took a look at Bella and asked how long shes been breathing like that and I told her. She said "well she doesnt look ok you should get the nurse" So when she was done I hit the call button. She came in and took her right away and said shed be back. That was the last time I saw her for a while. 2 drs came in and said something was wrong with Bella. Our hearts dropped and we started to panic. Different drs and nurses kept coming in trying to explain to us what was going on...and they didnt know what happened and basically told us she was having trouble breathing & that winchester was on their way to pick her up. Ryon and I were scared out of our minds. MIL showed up for support while we waited...and waited....

One of the doctors from WVU maternity center came to look at me...all he did was walk in...say "ok you look ready to go" and that was that. Next winchesters Nurse Practitioner came in and went over what was going on and had to sign a transport consent and she said Bella was doing ok but she would still be going to WINC. She left to go help stabilize her and about 5 mins later they came in and said they needed to leave ASAP and we could go see her for a second before they took her.

Walking into the larger delivery room where they were was very scary...she was on the warmer...naked with about 5 people surrounding her working on her and breathing for her...she had a tube going in her umbilical cord. The look in her eyes was heartbreaking and we both lost it. We were able to touch her and tell her we loved her and then we had to leave. We got our things and cried our eyes out on the way to the car. We waited for the ambulance and drove behind it. About half way there it pulled over...I was shaking and so worried..i thought the worst thing imaginable happened. Later we found out they stopped to make sure the tube in her was still working. We ended up losing sight of the ambulance at one of the stop lights...and we didnt know where we were going. Just as we lost sight of the ambulance Tina(a girl from work) and her husband were on their way to the hospital for their appointment pulled up next to us and asked if that was our baby we were following) I was too distraught to talk but nodded and the light turned green and we were off... we ended up following them and they walked us up to the NICU since they were familiar with the hospital(THANK YOU GUYS)
We went into the waiting room and waited for them to get her settled. The doctor and NP came and talked to us several different times and explained her condition...at the time i didn't understand because I was just so emotional. We eventually got to go back and see her...VERY hard to see her that way. A few hours later Dr. Lee came into the waiting room and said we would have to make a decision.. that what they were doing was keeping her stable for the time being..but her condition wasnt improving and if she were to keep a heart/lung bypass(ECMO) she would need to be taken to UVA in Charlottesville..and it would be better to take her there while shes still stable than take her at the last minute. We said I dont care where you have to take her we just want her healthy. So he called UVA and they said they were sending an ambulance...so we went to spend some more time with her(she was in an incubator) so we just stared at her..and cried. A little while later they changed their minds and the helicopter was on its way...she would never survive that long bumpy drive. Just about 45 minutes later the NETS(Newborn Emergency Trasport System) RN came and talked to us and we signed more papers to transport her again. All I kept thinking was...IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?? The NETS team had to get her stable hooked up to their equipment. We got to go in and say bye to her and that was the last time we got to see her eyes. She was moving around a little and just staring at us. We tried to be stron and not let her see us upset but we couldnt help but be upset...I just wanted to pick her up and hold her and let her know she would be ok..instead I touched her hand and told her we loved her and we would see her soon. We rushed out to the car so we could watch her take off. Watching your baby fly away...especially in a helicopter scared me to death...i am terrified of helicopters and yet I was sending her away in one.




We went to the house to try and rest before we drove down to Charlottesville and around the time we got home the NETS RN called to let me know that they arrived safely. We hung out at home and rested for a little while and were planning on leaving around 6am. I woke up about 1am and got ready and let Ryon rest for a little bit longer then I got too restless and I said we've got to go....