God gave me you

Its a crazy thing being the mother of an angel. Unless you are, you couldnt possibly comprehend the highs and lows that we constantly go thru and the emotions we struggle with. 

Sure comments people make and things that have anything to do with babies either of specific gender or age of our little angels can bring up feelings or memories. But something as simple as looking at the way the sun shines thru the clouds can make you cry...or smile, as if to say...I see you.

Well this morning on the way to work I was thinking...I dont look up very much anymore. I look around. I know where she is. But really, where is she?? Sometimes I look to the sky, sometimes shes a butterfly, sometimes shes at home, sometimes shes the rustling leaves when the wind blows. Shes EVERYWHERE. 

As I was leaving the cemetary today I was driving preeetty slow (which is unusual for me lol) and I noticed the clouds were reeeally dark. Suddenly the clouds parted and the sun shined thru in such a way that made me cry. (the picture doesnt do justice, the clouds were movin fast) I turned up the radio and heard this song:

"God Gave Me You"

I’ve been a walking heartache

I’ve made a mess of me

The person that I’ve been lately

Ain’t who I wanna be

But you stay here right beside me

And watch as the storm blows through

And I need you

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

And for when I think I lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me you

Gave me you

There’s more here than what we’re seeing

A divine conspiracy

That you, an angel lovely

Could somehow fall for me

You’ll always be love’s great martyr

And I’ll be the flattered fool

And I need you

God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

And for when I think I lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me you

On my own I’m only

Half of what I could be

I can’t do without you

We are stitched together

And what love has tethered

I pray we never undo

Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

And for when I think I lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it’s true

God gave me you, gave me you.

He gave me you. "

AND if that werent enough of a sign...the butterfly was back! A while ago I was leaving and a butterfly flew along side my car...and it was back! Or.. she was back.

I am SO thankful that God gave me Bella to carry for 9 months, to stand by her side and love on for 22 days, and to hold in my heart for as long as im living.

I love you my sweet sun shine and I cant wait to see your beautiful face when I arrive at Heavens gate. Until then...keep on shinin'! I can feel you around me :)