Waiting

SO...the "plan" was to give ourselves a little time to grieve our first born daughter and start trying for another baby around September/October. You see, we wanted a May baby last year until we found out I was pregnant a little earlier than we had expected. SURPRISE. I got used to a December baby really quick! {Off for all the holidays, not having to leave in the nasty cold, more time with Ryon and being snuggled up with our new baby girl ALL winter...or atleast for 6 weeks!} Well, as we know God had another plan for sweet Bella, and one we will have to learn to live with for the rest of our lives...

We spent 9 months talking about everything we were going to do with her and pretty much planned her life out before she arrived. After her passing...we were CRUSHED...left with ALL these plans and no baby to watch grow and see all of our dreams and plans come to life. Some women cant bear the thought of getting pregnant again for fear of losing another child...and some cant stop thinking about having another baby. I am the woman that cant stop thinking about having a baby. All the "advice" we got was to wait... We took the advice and decided to wait and thought our trip to Hawaii in October would be perfect! Thinking about it makes me SOOO excited. After talking about it I thought, why wait? Who cares what month the baby is born in, who cares if im preggo when we go to Hawaii?! Its not like waiting will make me miss Bella any less or bring her back. So to hell with waiting...were making a baby! LOL. Ok, so maybe not RIGHT this second, there are a few things we'd like to take care of first, BUT I am so excited to get pregnant again!

I can't wait to:

*put some of my feelings in my previous post to rest once I have a healthy baby to call my own
*see 2 lines on the pregnancy test(and yes, I stocked up again)
*hear the heartbeat--Im sure ill get a monitor this time so I can hear it whenever I want!
*the first ultrasound<3
*feeling the first flutter...and then all the kicks and punches!
*DELIVERING, I know its crazy right, but I cant wait to be in LABOR. Going natural again has crossed my mind and its something I would totally do again
*Hearing baby for the first time. Ah, its like music :) Bella had the loudest scream, not just a cry...and it was wonderful
*Instead of a baby shower, I will have a "Welcome Home Baby" celebration, and I cant wait for that day...

...theres so many more things I can't wait for...

However, things change, plans change...so we will just have to WAIT and see what happens!