Always changing

The title can describe a lot of things. Grief, pregnancy moods, but this time im talking about our ideas for our son's name and nursery.

We had a name picked out since we started dating...7 years ago, Austin Ryon was what we were going to call our first son. Well now that I am pregnant with a boy we have changed our minds. One reason was another girl naming her son Austin (very soon) and they will most likely go to school together. Ryon says you cant have 2 Austins. (now growing up how many John's, Kevin's, Ryan's, and so on did you know!? lol) Then we just sort of fell out of love with that name so the search began. We made a list of several names we liked...

Landon
Jaxson
Mason
Teagan
Gavyn
Brooks
Kingston (OK Ryon hated this 1 lol)
Rhys
Kaedon
and so on...


I am pretty confidant that we have agreed on a name for our son... but things change ALL the time so I am going to say I am 99.8% sure we will call him:

Jaxson Ryon Blehr :) I don't see it changing but you never know with us Blehr's


Also, If you read a few posts back about nursery ideas...there was only 1 boy room and I was so sure we were going to do that. Nope... not anymore! lol

We've finally agreed on a room and the ideas of what we want to do with it...


Ive always disliked really "baby baby" rooms...and BLUES! So many boys rooms are cars, zoo animals, sports or BLUES...yuck

This bedding is exactly what I was looking for. Something soothing, tranquil, and I LOVE the colors! Green, blue, and brown/tan...and we might even paint the walls like this:



BLUE! but what a great shade of blue...it might be a pale green. Still not sure until we get the bedding. Really hoping we are able to get it because I just LOVE it and all the ideas I have for it (thanks to google images)

I could totally see a tall giraffe in the corner...or maybe more of a surfer room with a surf board fan and palm decals on the wall. We shall see.

Im so excited to start on Jaxson's room...but not looking forward to putting all the girly dresses, shoes, hats, toys, and everything PINK away. I am going to keep most of the stuff but putting "Bella's things" away makes me sad. I'm ready for change tho, I'm ready to give Jaxson his space and create a new space for Bella's things, a place easily accessible so we can pull her possessions out any time. The rest of the girly items will be stored away but HER things will go in something like this....


except it will be a cherry finish, in our living room of course with her heartbeat bear sitting comfortably on top.

The big reveal

I was prefectly fine all day, not really thinking much about my appointment. While we were waiting (its usually a looong wait) I decided I would catch up on the blogs that I follow to keep my mind off my extremely full bladder. Well, I could have cried after reading them but im not a huge fan of crying in public. So I bottled those emotions...knowing theyd come out sooner or later.

We finally got to go back and couldn't wait to see our little bean! First was the big ol head (ryon cant deny our children! Hehe jk) and then we got to hear the heartbeat...166bpm. Music as always. Bean was moving around a lot! We werent sure if we'd get to find out the sex...and then there it was...

I said "thats A PENIS!" Yup thats right, ALLLL BOY! He wasn't shy at all like his big sister Bella. I waited until the ultrasound tech left and boy did I cry. So many mixed emotions, so much going through my head. I KNEW it was a boy but I wanted another little girl, a girl I could take care of and watch grow up and do all the girly mother/daughter things with. It just seems so out of reach now.

I feel so guilty. I was driving home and crying and just felt terrible for being so sad. I dont want him to think I dont want him because that couldnt be farther from the truth. He will be SO loved and I cant wait to meet him. I am so thankful for ANY and ALL children that the Lord blesses us with.

We buried Bella 10 months ago. The sex of the baby should be irrelevant (as another baby loss mother said). Either way there would be sadness, and I knew that. I just wasnt prepared for it!

With a boy along the way its going to be so different. This baby wont be a replacement baby(not that a girl would but some people might think that). All of Bella's things wont suddenly become her little sisters. Its a whole new start. Time to shop for a boy nursery and pack up the girly room that was once Bella's. 

Maybe one day well get another little girl but for now we look forward to preparing to meet the new addition to our family. A beautiful healthy little boy!

(Btw we might be changing the name we picked out which is why I didnt call him by name!)

ARB, BRB or JRB? Hmm...well see what we decide!

Obsession

With Bella I didnt have any cravings..at all, and with this baby I havent really had any either. I have an obsession instead.

Asparagus. I could live off this stuff. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If I have it for dinner, its my main course...anything else is just a side. And I dont share, I eat the whole bundle! (sorry Ryon)

I used to make it different ways ever since I started eating it within the past year or 2. Now I can only have it 1 way and some may think that youd get tired of it. Nope. Not me.

So if anyone wants to give me a gift for any reason...think no further than ASPARAGUS! Haha. I will love you forever.

Rolled in melted butter, loaded with minced garlic, fresh squeezed lemon juice over it(1/2 a lemon...then at the end squeeze the other half)

Baked for about 10-12mins.

Yummmmm! Good ol garlicy, buttery, lemoney, crunchy asparagus...what would I do without you?! :D